I'm not sure if anyone else experienced heartbreak in 2020, but for me personally, I had time to fit in a sweet summer love type deal before watching it shatter to pieces by fall. I pretty much never talk about my relationships, so to give you a tiny backstory, I went through a solid two year period where I grew cynical towards men and wanted nothing to do with dating. But somewhere along the way, it clicked in my brain that life is all wrapped up in relationships, and I knew my heart needed to get back to a healthier track. *Cue the honest talks with God and regular therapy sessions.* All that said, this last year was basically my first real run at a fresh perspective on romance. Not only did I desire to be vulnerable and build trust, but made action steps to talk about that desire and grow in those qualities. While the relationship ultimately came to an end, it was a one of the most beautiful things I've experienced. I recently had a check-in with my therapist and we got to talking about thoughts. Also, if you don't know me, you should know I'm not a big feeler. If I feel more negative emotions, it makes me icky and gross, and I automatically have the desire to shake them off. I could get into a whole bunch of what I've learned about identifying and processing feelings, but we'll save everything I'm learning about that for another day.
Anyway! While talking, we touched on the difference between passing thoughts versus thoughts rooted in emotion. Sometimes thoughts about a person are as simple as: Oh, I hope they're doing well. I wonder how work is going? Aw, that reminds me of them. We had fun, didn't we? Whereas other situations revolve around: Where are they? I thought they would fight for me. Was I not enough? Perhaps that kind of case involves listening to sad songs, sparking nostalgia, and before you know it you're down in the dumps. I referred to it as being "in my feels." My counselor said that maybe when I am "in my feels," it's actually because they need some attention. *Mind blown.*
It's less about who I'm missing, and more about why I miss them. Is it the quality time that I miss and now I'm just feeling lonely? Is it the words of affirmation that I miss and now I feel insecure? Interesting, right? Sure, this might be me throwing a good word out there so you don't send a text message you might regret. But, if I were to put a little self help twist on this, I would encourage you to check in on yourself.
Are you in your feels? What are you feeling? Where are you feeling it? What is the root of it?
Don't be afraid of your feelings... they won't last forever. That's it for now! Happy healing :)