For those of you who know me well enough, you know that I am not a huge fan of school. I love learning and creating, but I have always been a forward thinker when it comes to education. That being said, when I graduated college this past May, I was oddly surprised at how much I missed it. Unknowingly, I was experiencing a level of grief. So, to help process through my thoughts and feelings, my therapist challenged me to write down a list of what my gains and losses were from the situation. The more I learn about grief, I’ve realized that it can be colored in rainbows instead of just black and grey. Learning to gracefully let go of something and transition into a new season is a part of life. It isn’t something that is constantly birthed out of death and sadness, it can sprout from something exciting too.
After writing out my list of gains and losses, I noticed three main themes: 1) identity, 2) community, and 3) purpose. I had identity in being a student. I had a community of peers walking through the same season I was in. And I found a sense purpose in the work I accomplished, and validation through grades on my assignments. Recognizing these points helped point me in the right direction as I moved forward into the workplace.
Once my therapist and I reconnected about my list, she then encouraged me to write out what success looks like for me. And after I complete projects, to go through and exhaust “what went well” before I address “what I would do differently.” I also just love the wording of doing something differently versus how it can be better. I closely relate to the Enneagram 1, so there is always room for improvement in my head. In being self-aware of that characteristic, I am learning the importance of accepting things as they are, understanding that “different” doesn’t strictly come down to what is “right and wrong,” and being proud of my imperfect accomplishments.
Having said that, I wanted to share a little bit about my most recent venture! Last week, I produced the first YouTube live episode of Girl Talk (through Gwinnett Church Transit). Up until this point, I’ve written, hosted, and coordinated the pre-recorded episodes. But in the last month and a half, I brainstormed a theme, booked speakers, confirmed a location, reached out to the Digital Boiz for promos, designed the set, and then bought or made elements for said set. All the things! And I think my biggest takeaway was proving to myself that I can do it… even if I feel like I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing.
I think there is something really special about watching a project come to life. After sowing the seed, watering it, speaking life into it, and praying that the roots would hold up long enough to watch the flower bloom, I was in the back of the room, beaming with joy, as I witnessed the show unravel beautifully. I took on so much pride for my friends that spoke on the show, knowing that their courage was being challenged and their gifts were being stretched. And I walked away feeling so honored to have people in my life that support me, even when my stress level is through the roof. The ones who show up for the hard conversations and the last-minute changes are the champions for life. I have nothing but a sense of pride and gratitude, knowing that this (despite imperfections hehe) was in fact a success for me.
What does success look like for you?
Watch the first live episode of Girl Talk here!