I've been a Tennessee resident for a whopping 24-hours now. The apartment is still very empty and big and quiet, despite having everything I own in it. I've cried in waves... lots of waves. Nothing feels like home. And everything feels scary.
I never imaged being 25 and feeling like a 7-year-old nervously paying for a toy for the first time. It's the "I'm 100% freaking out internally, please don't ask me any questions" feeling.
I scheduled an appointment with a local chiropractor for this morning at 11:15am. It was good to have a reason to get out. I made some breakfast, unpacked a few boxes, and made a list of groceries I needed for later. My chiropractor appointment went well! They have coffee available in the lobby, so that's an instant bonus in my book. I'll go back Tuesday to talk about what's next.
After that, I hit Target for a bunch of stuff! An ironing board, towels, a Brita, hangers, a new liner for my shower curtain because I got a stall size the first time.
It was early afternoon by the time I got back to the apartment, so I was hungry! I grabbed Chinese takeout last night and ate the leftovers for lunch.
My friend Lydia briefly checked in via text... cue more crying. And then I saw some rain coming in, so I headed to Whole Foods for dinner groceries.
Fun fact: My dream is to shop at Whole Foods regularly. I love quality items and crave a more holistic lifestyle. I haven't walked into one in years and it felt so refreshing!
What's on the menu? Homemade chicken soup with salad! I've been eating everything lately (versus sticking to my no gluten, no dairy, low sugar eating habits). Since I've been physically and emotionally all over the place, I knew I needed to get back to a healthier routine to be proactive (no time to get sick)!
I grabbed all the fixings for a yummy dinner, along with a cold pressed juice! I typically reward myself with a fun drink as "self care."
When I was checking out, the girl at the register asked me how I was. I told her I was "alright." A nice answer that hovered in between honesty and surface level. After asking what I had been up to today, I shared that I had just moved into town and had knocked out errands all day. Hearing some of my feelings, she shared that she moved to California back in 2017 and just moved back 4 months ago. She's the first person here who's not just validated and understood what goes into a move on your own, but encouraged me.
I thanked her for listening. She left me with,"Well, favor for this next season for you! I'll see you next time." Did I just make my first friend?
It was definitely the highlight of my day.
I know this city is where I need to be right now.. and in due time it will come to feel more like home. In the meantime, I'm going to savor these tiny little moments where Jesus says, "I see you. You're not alone. Be diligent with what you have and I will make up the difference." Loaves and fish, am I right?
Cheers to Cara at Whole Foods.